so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
