quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
