Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize