they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
