Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
