his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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