i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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