Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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