Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
