I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
