My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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