It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
