no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You are a genius and a whore.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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