I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
