make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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