I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
