sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
two words...techno handjob
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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