So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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