Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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