She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
