Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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