he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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