i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
