It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
