you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
