you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
