i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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