She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
