Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
