I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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