just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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