SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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