i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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