You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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