Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
