A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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