Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
