OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize