Don't you send me to vm
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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