Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Two words: nipple clamps
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