And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize