We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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