Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
