Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
