He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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