I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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