Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
