If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
