Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
