i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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