It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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