Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
