Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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