The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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