Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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