We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
