How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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