No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
