wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
