Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
