thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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