the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
