There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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