just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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